November 2011
1 post
August 2011
1 post
May 2011
1 post
April 2011
1 post
March 2011
1 post
February 2011
2 posts
January 2011
1 post
September 2010
2 posts
July 2010
1 post
May 2010
1 post
March 2010
1 post
January 2010
1 post
November 2009
1 post
September 2009
1 post
August 2009
1 post
“Poker Face? I Don’t Even Know Her Face!”
– Weird Al
June 2009
1 post
Abbott and Costello Meet Eagle Rock
Abbott: Where'd you go?
Costello: Verdugo.
Abbott: I asked you first.
May 2009
1 post
April 2009
5 posts
Five Things You Shouldn't Recycle
Earth Day is a good day to remember the importance of recycling. But not every dirty hippie is aware that if you throw something that’s not recyclable into the bin, you risk the entire batch being shipped to the nearest dump. Here’s a short list of common items that don’t belong in the recycling bin:
Wet Paper Paper fibers exposed to water are shorter and less valuable to...
Actor Kal Penn Joins White House Team
Associated Press
Actor Kal Penn has been hired by the White House as a liaison between President Barack Obama’s administration and Asian constituents. “Do they know he wasn’t the Asian one in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle?” said my roommate Matthew Patrick Davis when asked for comment.
Oh, megle, when will you ever learn?
I know you nerds have read dozens of Omegle chats on every other stupid tumblelog, so why should I be any different? Enjoy it:
Connecting to server… Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: hi! Stranger: what’s your name? You: none of your business, stranger Stranger: mine’s zach paez You: wtf You: how’d you know my name? You: who...
“Hey man. Can you do me a favor and reach up there in the top cupboard and hand...”
– Lil’ Wayne
March 2009
1 post
Surgeons Remove Healthy Kidney Through Donor's...
CNN
Doctors can now remove a kidney through the donor’s vagina, leaving no visible scars. Except for this big one, where my penis used to be.
February 2009
1 post
9-Year-Old Creates iPhone Hit
Yahoo news reports that 9-year-old creates iPhone hit. No, he didn’t says everyone else. The app’s not even in the top 50. And it’s free. It’s not like he’s making enough money to move out of Singapore. More like, he’s gonna stay Singa-poor. Am I right, people? The article continues on to say that Lim Ding Wen is now fluent in six programming languages, none...
January 2009
1 post
Lolmurderers
The makers of lolcats have unfortunately run out of captions for their cat photos. So for whatever reason, they’ve now decided to start writing captions for photos of their favorite murderers and named it (you guessed it) lolmurderers. Will it become every bit the meme that lolcats was? No.
None of the captions make me LOL or even remotely xD, but I do have to admit that all of...
December 2008
2 posts
Failed Advertising Campaign Slogans
Everybody remembers “where’s the beef” and “got milk.” Well, here are a few advertising campaign slogans that, for one reason or another, didn’t catch on:
“OH SHIT!”
“MMMM, TASTES JUST LIKE PIZZA”
“THE FEEL GOOD MOVIE OF THE BUMMER”
NO
This entry is devoted to the “no” symbol and how they do more than just provide us with Ghostbusters logos. They make our lives safer. Here are a few of my favorites:
NO ARROWS ALLOWED
DON’T PEE
YOU CAN’T DRINK COFFEE WITH A FORK, DUMBASS
NO BLACKS
November 2008
2 posts
World's Oldest Person Dies
Associated Press
More like, “World’s Oldest Person Loses”
And the new winner is — that flower she’s holding. It’s probably still alive.
Edna Parker was just two years away from being the oldest validated supercentenarian in history until she decided to give up yesterday. “What a lazy broad,” replied Dallas McLaughlin, the Mayor of Clairemont,...
Shoot 'Em Up
Here are a few of my favorite Clive Owen quotes from the movie Shoot ‘Em Up. Thanks imdb!
“Shooter? I don’t even know her!”
(Clive Owen stabs a carrot into a bad guy’s eye socket) “I guess carrots aren’t good for your eyes.”
(Clive Owen delivers a pregnant woman’s baby) “It’s not delivery, it’s DiGiorno.”
(Clive...